Monday, May 27, 2013

My Houshold And The Search For Coffee

     My father, mother, and sister have been consumed by the coffee craze! Let me give you two examples.
     1. Darling Father and I were recently in Durham, NC, and let me tell you, there are two existing grocery stores there, unless you count Big Lots. (Which is not for groceries, it is mostly non-edible merchandise.) Anyhoo, our hotel room had a kitchenette, which was all fine and dandy. So, Darling Father goes "Yay! I won't have to pay for coffee every morning!" But first we had to actually find coffee for him to make. Our GPS told us that there was a Whole Foods near us, but when we 'arrived at our destination', we found a construction zone. Thanks a lot, Garmin. Then Darling Father tracked down a Compare Foods, which is basically a really big Price Chopper. Darling Father was--unsatisfied with the options there. So what was there to do? Father whipped out his iPhone, and asked it where the Whole Foods was. This time we actually got there, and Darling Father ground himself some beans, and I got my mac and cheese and finally everything was well.
      2. This morning our power went off, which isn't really all that unusual for our street in the summer. (The unusual thing is that only our street loses power constantly.) So, my fan turned off, which woke me up because I need white noise to sleep. Our coffee maker also turned off. (As did everything else, but that's beside the point.) Once Darling Father got up, I was asked to go to Target with him to get coffee from the Starbucks embedded inside. Mind you, I don't drink coffee, as far as I'm concerned it tastes like crap. However, I was feeling generous, so I went with him to feed their addiction. My father, mother and sister each have their own travel mug, which can be filled for a mere 50 cents. So we made our way to Target, which was surprisingly bust for nine o'clock in the morning on Memorial Day. At last, my addicted family could feed their addiction, even in the darkest (literally) times. Woot. At least I got pastries as a reward.
     So let's review.
       A. The subject(s) take extreme measures to feed addiction.
       B. The subject(s) have travel mugs.
       C. The subject(s) use said mugs for a cheap source.
       D. The subject(s) make zombie noises while on the way to source.
It's official! My entire family besides me has been overtaken by the Coffee Curse! If you ever find yourself in this situation or may find yourself in this situation, be sure to stock pile the following.
  • Sleepytime tea
  • Sedatives, mild and strong
  • Blankets
  • Food (Duh)
  • Water (Duh)
  • Teakettles
In case you end up being forced to give coffee to the subject(s), keep those tiny packets of pre-ground coffee in your pockets. Only use these if it is a matter of life or death!
 Everyone have a good day, and be sure to always be prepared! A breakout could occur at any time!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Why Is This Cookie So Sad?

     We encountered this poor, sad cookie at a bakery not to be named. Maybe he is afraid of the prospect of being eaten. Maybe the other cookies are taunting him because he's different. Leave your reason why in my comments, and the winner will be announced on November 10th. Entries are due by November 5th. Good luck!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Curse of the Giant Cookies

The Girl Scouts marching in their cookie outfits.
     Help! I'm about to be eaten by a giant Carmel de Lite! (Or for you other folks out there, Samoa!) Last year at the Old Settler's day parade these giant cookies rampaged the streets, nipping the heads off of innocent bystanders... or not. *Sigh*. Unfortunately, not, but they were pretty darn terrifying.

     This one looks hungry...
That banner was hard to carry, okay! The wind was blowing in our direction.
     So, anyway... We have to sell Girl Scout cookies soon, and we don't like it any more that those parents out there do, so buy cookies! We will love you forever! Support your local Girl Scouts!!!
     Sorry, got a little carried away there. (Breath in... breath out) Today also happens to be my blog's first birthday! To all you (relatively) young whippersnappers out there, start a blog! Name it Darth Vader's Kittens! Do something with it! Don't just sit on the name! But most importantly, have a nice day.

 Credit for the photos goes to DF, Darling Father.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Children and Tigers and Snacks, Oh My!

     This was not staged. Darling Father, the master of photography and photo angles, managed to snap this picture of the small child becoming the subject of this supposedly wildcat's snack. (I think it's an albino tiger.) Perhaps the school board should investigate this heinous (and hilarious) act. Perhaps not.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Apologies, Tin-Tin, and the Olympics

1. Apologies
    Sorry it's been so long since I've hit the keys; summer vacation tends to overtake me with camps, vacations, mission trips, etc.
Summer brain is in my ears and in my heart...
Again, apologies.
2. Tin-Tin
     Tin-Tin is a small rubber green chameleon, unfortunately, he does not change colors. While I was at my friend's birthday party, I acquired Tin-Tin, Tin-Tin met a fish, and got lost. We turned my friend's house upside- down looking for him while he was sitting in my purse, probably mocking us the whole time.
3. The Olympics
    Oh, how I love the Olympics. My sister's favorite event is gymnastics, while mine is a tie between BMX and track and field. I just discovered BMX racing, and I am addicted. Track has always been a favorite of mine. Gymnastics scares the crap out of me because I'm always afraid they'll die. In perspective, BMX should also scare the crap out of me for the same reason, but oh, well. I love it anyway.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Dyeing, Ornaments, Solders, and Teeth

These words were chosen by Darling Father, and I have been wondering how on earth I would pull this off since he gave them to me. Here we go...

Gingercat can see her reflection in the brightly colored ornaments hanging from the school Christmas tree. As she looks, she can see something else. The reflection is distorted and green, but she can clearly make out a flying Oliver 9. She slowly turns around to face the typewriter. It is hovering just above the wreath on her teacher's door, and a faint humming emanates from it.
The Oliver's keys look like teeth in the bright light of the hallway. It leads her to a whole flock of Oliver 9s hovering in her science room. As she inspects them more closely, she sees that they are dyeing Easter eggs with hydrogen peroxide.
"Um... Guys? Probably not a very good idea." she says. They look at her, a bewildered expression in their typebars. Then a sad little Oliver comes humming up, holding a broken dipping spoon for the eggs up.
"This was our last one." he says. "Will you fix it?"
"Sure. Do you have a soldering station?" she asks.
After scrounging for a decent soldering iron, Gingercat solders the dipping spoon back together. The Olivers thank her profusely, and go back to dyeing their eggs. 
As she walks out of her formerly crazy science room, Gingercat wonders what her teacher will think when she finds all of the hydrogen peroxide gone.

There you have it. Happy Memorial Day.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Jolt, Judge, Rule, and Stolen

Today I was bored, so I decided to pick four words out of the dictionary and use them in a paragraph that kindof sortofishly made sense. Here's what I came up with for jolt, judge, rule, and stolen.

One day, gingercat was walking around school, and stopped with a jolt. She looked upward. There was Godzilla, standing on her science room.
"Excuse me mister sir, but would you mind stepping off of my science classroom? We were scheduled to do rat dissections today."
Godzilla looked at the brave gingercat, and let out a roar. The mighty gingercat continued. "I know who has stolen your property. If I give back what has been stolen, will you let me go?"
As many of you may know, Godzilla is a very good judge of character, so he agreed. He had a feeling that he could trust this puny human. With that, gingercat ran out of the school, breaking the ever important rule of not running in school.
She tracked down the thief, eventually coming to her own house. She stomped upstairs, and knocked on her brother's door.
"Whadda ya want?"
"Give back the plutonium."
A groggy, half dead teen came to the door.
"What's that?"
Gingercat sighed, and stormed into his room, grabbed the plutonium and ran back to school.
"Here!I have it for you!" Godzilla grunted, and moved out of the way. She rushed into class, took her seat, and cut open her rat.

So there you have it.